Im gonna sick you out.

This is pretty much what I wore for New Years Eve, but yaknow a bit more embellished for Jesus. Ive had this cardigan forever, I think I got it from like a jumble sale or something. And the black shaggy waistcoat Im wearing underneath has pretty much been my favourite item of clothing this winter. I usually wear it on the outside but sometimes just so it peeps through, even though it makes me look pretty fat that way. Ive shown this shirt before, I got it for free from a big pile of weird clothes and costumes that for some reason got donated to my art department a few years ago. I painted the black on it though. Im holding a skull because thats always nice and the red tie is because the chain isnt joined so I joined it together with a ribbon. fucking FASCINATING isnt it. Well not really but people like to know this shit and also Im annoyed because I spent ages editing this shit for my first lookbook picture but then when I went to post it I realise it went against pretty much every one of their rules. motherfuck!!!!!! Anyway so it ended up here which is probably better because you know how neglectful I have been. Thanks for your time, hi I love you. I was going to call this post O holy night but then I remembered Christmas is over.

or, yknow, dont.

Christmas, thanks for nothing.

Went away for Christmas. Forgot to water the plants. The plants died. Its the circle of life.
This is my poor little weird mint plant that I saved from the bargain shelf of Morrisons in July and nutured back to health. It served me well; I made the most delicious mint peas. Pimms in summer was minty fresh. It looked nice on the windowsill. But now Im a plant murderer!!!! Our strange tree thing also perished. And the lavender went months ago... Maybe its a sign...

TWOTHOUSANDANDELEVEN IS KIND OF HARD TO SAY.

Happy new years muthafuckas. I dont really have more to say except may the year ahead be prosperous and wonderful without sadness and shit. Although yaknow every year is full of ups and downs. Hopefully this will be an upper more than a downer though. Lots of exciting things are lined up this year, so yay. Even though twothousandandeleven does sound a bit like an inbetween year. Does that make sense? Anyways, fuck you 2010, the future is now. etc.

They Are the Last

For Beverly

Behind her tongue

with its language of grass

and passion for salt,

behind the heavy tongue

deft nevertheless

as a blind man's hand,

a cow in good health chews

approximately fifty times

before reswallowing the cud.

It appears the animals

Beverly

are emigrating: their America

the constellations in the sky

Lizard, Lion, Great Bear,

Ram, Bull, Crow,

Hare . . .

perhaps the more prudent

like the agouti

have chosen the milky way.

Put your ear to her flank

and you will hear

the tide of her four stomachs.

Her second, like a net,

has the name of a constellation:

Reticulum. Her third,

the Psalterium, is like

the pages of a book.

When she falls sick

and lacks the will to chew

her four stomachs fall

silent as a hive in winter.

Each year more animals depart.

Only pets and carcasses remain,

and the carcasses living or dead

are from birth

ineluctably and invisibly

turned into meat.

'I believe it's completely feasible,'

said Bob Rust

of Iowa State University,

'to specifically design 

an animal for hamburger.'

Elsewhere 

the animals of the poor

die with the poor

from protein insufficiency.

When fetched from the pastures

they bring into the cool stable

the heat of the orchard

and the hot breath of wild garlic.

To clean out the cowshed

scatter a little of

the mare's dung

it absorbs their shit

liquid as springtime

and green with grass.

And fasten them well tonight

bed them with beech leaves

Beverly

they are the last.

Now that they have gone

it is their endurance we miss.

Unlike the tree

the river or the cloud

the animals had eyes

and in their glance

was permenance.

It was the same fox for ever and ever.

To kill him

was to drag him

momentarily

from the earth

of his eternity.

Once flies and crows

when devouring the dead sheep

began with the eyes.

Yet the ewe

had already lambed

her permenance.

The buzzard circled

biding his everlasting time

as repeatedly

as the mountain.

Out of the single night

came the day's look,

the wary glance

on every side.

Once the animals flowed like their milk.

Now they have gone

it is their endurance we miss.

*

'The breeding sow,' it is said,

'should be thought of and treated

as a valuable piece of machinery

whose function

is to pump out baby pigs.'

*

Sometimes still,

when you are pouring

from the white jug,

the milk

reminds me of the geese

who like dogs

guarded the house.

John Berger, 2001.

Fatten your pig

Darlings, Merry Christmas to you all. Lets hope that 2011 is wonderful, but we'll worry about that next week... In the mean time, enjoy the shit out of this festive video extravaganza....













Coz nobody wants to be all alone on Christmas xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I WANNA BE WEIRD
LIKE HEATHER
NOT CRAZY
LIKE WINONA

The Show [Part One]

Here are some images from The Show, which I sort of posted about a few weeks ago.
The Show was a performative exhibition, in which the artists all played characters in a 3 hour durational performance, where the viewer was encouraged to wander freely through three rooms of installations. Each installation represented the 'home' of each character - a place where they had become stuck in time, never able to leave, never able to let go from the past. We were lucky enough to be invited to fill three large spaces in the form of empty shops within a shopping arcade. This included the use of basements, back rooms and window boxes.
In terms of my own involvment in The Show, I created an environment for a collector of animals - the taxidermist. Collecting dead pets, the dead performing animals from travelling shows and eventually the half human half animal hybrid freak show entertainers, preserving them all perfectly within his workshop.
The idea was to create an obsessive environment full of pictures of animals, animal ornaments, taxidermy and human-animal sculptures. I wanted to give the sense of preserving beauty, but in doing so actually creating a place of fear and sadness.

 

I don't know why the format of these pictures is so jangly and all over the place and I literally cant be bothered to try and fix it. I sort of like the wobbly effect though, its fun.

Lanvin, H&M and Me.

Hi babies how have you all been? I feel like I havent posted on here properly in ages, and this is actually the truth. I have been hella busy with art shows and visiting friends and getting into the festive spirit and generally living, time has slipped by. Well hello here I am, and I expect soon I shall have more time to have fun here.
So yeah this week I was in Birmingham visiting my BFF. Well can you imagine my surprise when I went into H&M into the bullring and saw a pair of the much desired (on my account) Blue shiney Lanvin X H&M Oxfords??? Oh man, I died. I really thought they had all sold out, and oh what better luck when the very pair was my very size. Well of course, me being an impulse buyer I grabbed the (slightly beaten) box and skipped my way to the till.
On purchasing the shoes of joy, I felt instant guilt. And not good guilt. I suddenly realised I'd spent a hard earnt (Yes, Im a student with a student loan but I also have a job thank you very much) £60 on disco shoes I would probably only wear once or twice with caution, which would probably give me blisters and also at the end of the day are from H&M, not exactly renowned for their quality.
Still, I skipped on. I popped into Pop Store which is just opposite, where they have loads of nice jewellry and and actually some decent menswear too. While here I got chatting to the sales girl and ended up showing her the shoes, which she seemed to enjoy. Even the sales boy came over and seemed impressed... However neither of them enjoyed the shoes in the way that I was, that they were blue and ineteresting but also, importantly, they were from the LANVIN collection!! They seemed oblivious in fact, that such a thing has ever existed. Somehow I didnt get the usual sense of satisfaction at having bought something really nice. This is hard to explain.
Still I skipped on, next thing I knew I was in another shoe shop gazing adoringly at some amazing purple canvas dr Martens with a thick white sole. Although I do have a few pairs of boots I have actually never owned any DMs (well, I have some cherry red shoes with a reallllllly thick bouncy sole which are pretty heavenly, but not boots) although I have actually wanted some for a million years. It was while looking at the dr martens, which were actually all the same price as the shoes Id just bought, that I knew I had definately made a mistake. I looked into the lanvin box, inspecting the shoes further. There were loose threads, and you could see some of the glue on the soles. Compared to the lifetime quality of the DMs they looked flimsy, and well, pretty shit. It was then I knew I would have to make the painful sacrifice of taking the shoes back for a refund. Although I had all these reasons in my head for why I shouldnt keep them, it was still difficult. You know sometimes you just need NICE LOOKING THINGS, you know what I mean? Well my friends, it just wasnt to be. A mere hour after purchasing the prized L4H&M shoes, I was back in the queue to return them. And thats just what I did. And now all that remains is this nifty little dust bag which I guess I sort of stole from the box....
Well the next day I went back and bought some amazing green docs, which actually with my student discount were only £53.99, almost £10 cheaper than the oxfords. And you know what I think I sort of love them.
Moral of the story, I think about shoes too much.

THE SHOW

THE SHOW
BY THE SHOW COLLECTIVE

‘THE WALK’, KINGS STREET, READING
Thursday 2nd December, 2010
...5pm-8pm

CURRENT READING UNIVERSITY FINE ART students and one recently-graduated artist will be collaborating in a performative exhibition that will occupy empty shop units in the Walk, Reading, for one evening. The Show will bring together performance, installation, video, sound and smell to playfully investigate the disintegration of once-successful entertainers and washed-up circus performers.

COME TO SEE these characters, and the relics of their past. Their depressive nostalgia is trapped in a time that is hard-to-grasp, such that their stories are disjointed yet inter-connected. The visitors will be given the chance to explore the live space and observe the characters residing there- The bearded showgirl; Tamer and Beast - Caged and Uncaged; a folk-singing Fortune Teller; an Animalistic Taxidermist; and OTTER, amongst others.

THE SHOW will become a static exhibition during the week following the 2nd of December.

THEY SHOULDN’T BE ON THESE PEOPLE’S TERRITORY!
BUT THEY’VE BEEN INVITED TO IT.

LIVING READING
GET READING
GET BRACKNELL